Do I look fat to you?

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I’d like you to close your eyes and imagine yourself looking in the mirror on any ole day.

What do you see?

I’m smiling!

I’m sad.

I look fat.

I look great!

The way we view ourselves can be quite different than how the rest of the world sees you.

Why is that?

I believe that our physical being is such a small percentage of who we are.

Our posture, our voice, our aura, our energy…

All play a part in how others see us.

But that brings me to another point: Who cares?

Why do we care so much about what other people think of us?

Seeking approval of others can be toxic and debilitating towards our personal growth. In the end, external forces can not and should not govern our deepest emotions and desires.

And yet it happens. Why?

We need to be  aware of the processes and strategies to internalize our emotions and regain control of our lives.

Once you unlock the secret of emotional intelligence, the world is yours for the taking.

The key to unlocking your full potential lies in our ability to gain emotional intelligence every single day.

First, a thought is generated in our mind.

“What does it mean? Why do I feel this way? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Do I feel empowered or anxious right now? Why? How can I use this emotional energy to generate decisive positive action?”

I see many people affected by the actions bestowed upon them.

  • A trusted friend ridiculing you for stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new (but ‘weird’ to him/her)
  • Your parents voiced disapproval of a significant other for stereotypical reasons
  • Strangers laughing at you or pointing because you are handicapped, using a wheelchair to get around
  • People staring at you because you are obese

Some of those examples might be accurate.

  • The trusted friend and parents example might be an accurate depiction of their reasons for voicing their disapproval.
  • The last two examples could be our ‘perceived thoughts’ and not reality.

Let’s get back to the title of this post.

Hypothetically, let’s imagine I am a self-conscious 38 yr old man who has struggled with weight issues most of my life. I have suffered bouts of depression, anxiety and binge eating. I just want to be happy; nothing seems to work. I’ll start a diet; eventually, though I lose motivation and I’m right back where I started.

If I was to ask you:

“Do I Look Fat to YOU?”


In truth, regardless of how you respond, I’ve already made up my mind how I feel about myself.

If you say,

“No! You look great!”

I’ll take it with a grain of salt because I know something isn’t right. You’re just being nice.

And if you respond,

“Yes, as a matter of fact I have noticed you put on some weight.”

I’ll sink deeper into depression because even my closest, trusted friends confirm my self-defeating thoughts.

  • We must empower ourselves by taking consistent, positive actions aimed to bring fulfillment and purpose into our lives.
  • We must immerse ourselves completely in the journey towards self mastery, not allowing any external forces to break us.
  • We must focus on the destination with laser focus.
  • Point A to Point B has an infinite number of routes; we must always keep gas in the tank to generate momentum past obstacles and derailments.

This is the basis for emotional intelligence.

Next time, I’ll dive deep into the wonderful world of EI.

Until then, aim to inspire greatness through your daily decisions.



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